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A NASCAR BLOG BY Art Weinstein
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Welcome NASCAR’s newest team owner
May
14
I finally did it. I am now a NASCAR Sprint Cup team owner.
Thanks to my late, great, great, great aunt who recently left me $150,000 – told you she was great! – I am fielding a car in the June 15 Sprint Cup race at Michigan. It’s too easy. I bought a race-ready Toyota and an engine from one of NASCAR’s top teams (Hint: They have three Cup drivers, and all three have the letter “Y” in their first name).
Then, I signed a veteran driver for a one-race deal. He’s a qualifying genius who is sure to get my car in the race.
I have no sponsorship, so here’s my plan: I’ll hire a few fans from the infield to serve as my pit crew. (My pay: Free beer.)
My team will start the race and run a few laps back in the pack. Then, I’ll get on the radio and tell my driver, “Uh, looks like we have a ‘handling’ problem. We better park the car.”
Voila, we just earned about $75,000 for finishing 43rd! After paying my driver and other bills, I’ll clear a few thousand dollars.
I’ll feel bad for one of the teams that goes home because of me. Sure, they probably have a multimillion-dollar sponsor and are committed to running the full schedule. But I was faster in qualifying.
I think NASCAR should do away with all that top-35 owner points and guaranteed starting spots nonsense and open races to the fastest 43 cars. Just imagine how exciting it would be if no-name teams like mine built one-lap rockets and qualified, and drivers like Dale Earnhardt Jr. or Tony Stewart slipped in oil dry in qualifying and failed to make the race. That would be great for the sport, right?
On second thought, despite fans who repeatedly call for that type of system, having the fastest 43 drivers make the race would be a terrible idea. That’s why I spoofed the whole concept in this outrageously fictitious blog entry.
The only element of truth: That’s about all it takes for a team owner with a little bit of money but no commitment to the sport to crash the party and send an established team home, even with a top-35 rule. Throw open the field to the fastest 43 cars, and you’d have chaos.
Thanks to my late, great, great, great aunt who recently left me $150,000 – told you she was great! – I am fielding a car in the June 15 Sprint Cup race at Michigan. It’s too easy. I bought a race-ready Toyota and an engine from one of NASCAR’s top teams (Hint: They have three Cup drivers, and all three have the letter “Y” in their first name).
Then, I signed a veteran driver for a one-race deal. He’s a qualifying genius who is sure to get my car in the race.
I have no sponsorship, so here’s my plan: I’ll hire a few fans from the infield to serve as my pit crew. (My pay: Free beer.)
My team will start the race and run a few laps back in the pack. Then, I’ll get on the radio and tell my driver, “Uh, looks like we have a ‘handling’ problem. We better park the car.”
Voila, we just earned about $75,000 for finishing 43rd! After paying my driver and other bills, I’ll clear a few thousand dollars.
I’ll feel bad for one of the teams that goes home because of me. Sure, they probably have a multimillion-dollar sponsor and are committed to running the full schedule. But I was faster in qualifying.
I think NASCAR should do away with all that top-35 owner points and guaranteed starting spots nonsense and open races to the fastest 43 cars. Just imagine how exciting it would be if no-name teams like mine built one-lap rockets and qualified, and drivers like Dale Earnhardt Jr. or Tony Stewart slipped in oil dry in qualifying and failed to make the race. That would be great for the sport, right?
On second thought, despite fans who repeatedly call for that type of system, having the fastest 43 drivers make the race would be a terrible idea. That’s why I spoofed the whole concept in this outrageously fictitious blog entry.
The only element of truth: That’s about all it takes for a team owner with a little bit of money but no commitment to the sport to crash the party and send an established team home, even with a top-35 rule. Throw open the field to the fastest 43 cars, and you’d have chaos.
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