Mike Hembree: Looking for danger? Buy a ticket
By Mike Hembree - Associate Editor
Thursday, March 27, 2008
COMMENTARY
Those of you who have been to a Sprint Cup race know how dangerous they can be.
And we’re not talking about driving in one; we’re talking about attending one.
First, there are the turkey legs. People actually buy these huge chunks of a formerly living animal with meat hanging from the leg and consume them in front of God and everybody while waiting for the race to start. Random cholesterol readings taken at cooperating race facilities show levels skyrocketing after visits to these stands (although some medical professionals suspect that people eating turkey legs are washing them down with funnel cakes, which have been known to cause strokes during the third caution flag).
Then – and this is particularly timely – there is the famous Martinsville hot dog. These things are delicious but are of questionable lineage. The ultimate gut grenade, they will be consumed by the thousands (and that’s just by one pit crew) this weekend, and there will be hell to pay, gastronomically speaking, in the hours that follow.
Beyond the threats posed by food and drink, races also put fans in vehicular danger. And we’re not just talking about $40 parking fees. Driving to the event in monster traffic and driving home with the same monsters after they’ve consumed several liters of adult beverages can create challenges. In some of these situations, it’s best to have a tank.
Then there is the argumentative and obnoxious fan, to be defined in this case as anyone who’s a fan of some other driver. Although professional boxing has been on a steady downswing for years, you can see some pretty good fisticuffs matching Gordon and Earnhardt fans at most race venues. Just stay out of the way.
These dangers come to mind in the wake of a recent magazine report using a number of statistical factors – oddly, NASCAR loop data not among them – to determine the safest and most dangerous states in the United States.
Perhaps it will come as no surprise that, of the 15 states considered most dangerous, 10 host Sprint Cup races. Of the 15 rated safest, only two host Cup races.
Coincidence?
Nevada is considered the most dangerous, in part because you can lose a lot of money legally there, followed by Louisiana, New Mexico, South Carolina, Arizona and Tennessee.
The only two “safe” states hosting Cup events are New Hampshire (No. 1 in the safe category, thanks to Bruton Smith’s arrival) and Virginia (15th and barely on the list).
Obviously, the folks doing the rankings haven’t heard about those hot dogs.
