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Fan columnist: What happened to mustaches on NASCAR drivers?
By Calvin Rowland - SceneDaily Fan Columnist
Thursday, October 09, 2008
SceneDaily
After watching the Cubs choke like Kyle Busch in their first three playoff games, I needed something to distract my mind.
I was standing outside my garage Sunday morning thinking about how I was going to turn a pile of red landscaping bricks into a NASCAR mini-golf course on my driveway when it occurred to me I should try to grow a cool 1980s-era NASCAR mustache. I tried to pull off a mustache back in 2006 as part of a pirate Halloween costume. Problem was, my facial hair comes in light, and it just didn’t have the fullness I was seeking. It ended up looking like a caterpillar had died on my face. Instead of shaving it, I went ahead and allowed a full beard to grow in. Tara and I attended the Phoenix race in November that year, and my photos show me with the pathetic semi-goatee.
Not too many NASCAR Sprint Cup drivers have mustaches these days. Where did the big ol’ Earnhardt Sr. ‘stache go? Perhaps mustaches went away as the average age of the drivers plummeted. Instead of upper lip hair, we have young guns who advocate brands of razors. NASCAR basically had to invent an age requirement, otherwise Kyle Busch would have been racing in NASCAR before his voice changed. Joey Logano is 18 and has probably yet to see many whiskers.
Speaking of youngsters, the rookie battle this year has been pathetic. Up until last weekend, most people probably didn’t even know what Regan Smith looked like, much less whether he had a mustache.
Which driver would look good with a mustache? Greg Biffle, winner of two races in the Chase For The Sprint Cup this season, could probably sport the Stroker Ace look. It’s not tough envisioning Martin Truex Jr., Clint Bowyer or, obviously, Dale Earnhardt Jr. with a mustache. Talladega winner Tony Stewart would look cool with a big soup strainer. Stewart has a full beard by 7 at night anyways, but if you don’t shave the cheeks and chin, it doesn’t count.
Each Chase race has been fun and exciting. Talladega continued that trend. The pack of cars racing around reminded me of the Talladega of 2001-2003. Even before the big wreck, it felt as if it was possible for a surprise winner, which we almost had!
Jimmie Johnson must hide the world’s largest horseshoe in his car. Man, he gets lucky. Johnson, racing timid, hung in back for most of the Talladega race. It even burnt him on the start of the race, but, of course, he ended up getting his lap back with the Lucky Dog rule. Johnson’s closest two Chase competitors, Carl Edwards and Biffle, wreck at the same time, and he avoids it all. To top it off, we’re heading to Lowe's Motor Speedway, Johnson’s personal playground a few short years ago.
I kind of like the idea of drivers from seventh place and on down in the Chase racing hard while Jimmie Johnson plays defense. It makes you admire the “second-sucks” attitude of Regan Smith. Maybe next time Smith can sneak through to win by a hair.
2009 Sprint Cup Race for the Chase Standings
Driver Standings after the Checker O'Reilly Auto Parts 500
| 1 | Jimmie Johnson | 6492 |
| 2 | Mark Martin | -108 |
| 3 | Jeff Gordon | -169 |
| 4 | Kurt Busch | -211 |
| 5 | Tony Stewart | -285 |
| 6 | Juan Pablo Montoya | -289 |
| 7 | Greg Biffle | -321 |
| 8 | Denny Hamlin | -352 |
| 9 | Ryan Newman | -411 |
| 10 | Kasey Kahne | -476 |
| 11 | Carl Edwards | -520 |
| 12 | Brian Vickers | -666 |
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Comments
13 responses to "Fan columnist: What happened to mustaches on NASCAR drivers? ". Post a Comment.
Anonymous said:
Oct 10, 2008 at 3:44 PMLooks like Calvin is starting to run out of ideas...ready for a relief columnist?
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» Confirm Abuse ReportMary Ruth Andrews said:
Oct 10, 2008 at 7:12 PMYou failed to mention Jeff Gordon's former mustache.
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» Confirm Abuse ReportMerri Scott said:
Oct 10, 2008 at 8:11 PMPerhaps the mustache under a full-face helmet in 120+ degree heat is a bit uncomfortable? Just a thought!
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» Confirm Abuse ReportBusch Fan said:
Oct 13, 2008 at 12:49 PMFirst of all having mechanical problems with your car is not chocking. Busch would still be at the top if not for bad luck he DID NOT CHOCKE. Ok I thought about entering this contest when I first read about but thought no I bet some semi professional writer will win boy was I wrong come on you can do better than mustaches. Well maybe not you are a Cubs fan and we know your bar is not set to high so please try to stick to topics about racing and not facial hair also please learn the difference between a choke job ( see any Cubs playoff games) and bad luck (see Kyle Busch) . My hope is that Burton wins the Championship he has been fairly steady all year and he is just a good guy. I am so tired of JJ winning it and Edwards is such a punk that seeing him win would make me well just ill. Ok so next week let’s keep it to NASCAR and not discuss topics such as male pattern baldness please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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» Confirm Abuse ReportSal Sigala Jr. said:
Oct 13, 2008 at 10:23 PMBusch Fan,
Report as AbuseThe reason they didnt choose a better writer, is because the writers on this site didnt want to be shown up.
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» Confirm Abuse ReportBusch Fan said:
Oct 14, 2008 at 7:18 AMDarn Sal that was brutal.....
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» Confirm Abuse ReportGlenda Roberts said:
Oct 14, 2008 at 9:41 AMI did enter the contest even with the knowledge that some folks wouldn't like what I had written, if I was in fact chosen.
Report as AbuseObviously, I wasn't chosen and maybe that is a good thing for all of us.
I do believe based on the rules, that the topic was intended to be The Chase and it isn't like there was a topic shortage last week either .. oh, did you happen to notice all the controversy going on??
I will however say, we really don't know what he might have been assigned by the publisher to write. That's all Folks.
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» Confirm Abuse ReportSal Sigala Jr. said:
Oct 14, 2008 at 6:08 PMBusch Fan- I put a link up to one of my blogs at Nascar.com, after this weekends race at Charlotte. You notice how they took it down. But yet in Calvins first post after he won the contest, they left my link up. I guess the truth hurts. Im frevr3fan over there, and at Foxsports. Stop by sometime. We could always use a few good bloggers.
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» Confirm Abuse ReportSal Sigala Jr. said:
Oct 14, 2008 at 6:11 PMGlenda- I seriously doubt they told him to write about a mustache. Read all of his other posts. They have hardly anything to do with the chase. It makes one wonder who actually picked the contest winner.
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» Confirm Abuse ReportDerrick Ramsey said:
Oct 16, 2008 at 5:10 AMAwesome article....I also wonder when the old hippy lip went out of style.
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» Confirm Abuse ReportJay Hauser said:
Oct 16, 2008 at 9:11 AMMustaches on race drivers. I think sponsors and marketing people have much to do with their absence, but Mike Skinner's carrying on. Most of the marketing gurus seem to want young clean cut kids (Kasey Kahne, Jamie McMurray,etc) to promote their products. I have noticed that when a race driver getting on in years wants to look younger, the mustache takes a hike ala Dale Jarrett.
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» Confirm Abuse ReportGreen Flag said:
Oct 19, 2008 at 6:44 PMWho cares ?
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» Confirm Abuse ReportErnest Franklin said:
Oct 31, 2008 at 8:42 AMGod forbid we have to read a well-written article with funny analogies and personal stories that allow us not only to connect and relate to the writing and the author, but also serve as a venue for entertainment that also delivers information about races.
Report as AbuseSecondly, most of the people who read these types of articles PROBABLY saw the races already and know the details. If they missed the race, they can easily hit up a news site and plug through hundreds of statistics if they like.
Finally, this contest was for a FAN columnist, not for professional writers or drab bloggers with an associates degree in journalism from their local community college. I suppose they chose Mr. Rowland because his writing is interesting, humorous, and easy to relate to. NASCAR is a sport, and sports are supposed to be entertaining. Articles and fans like this only exemplify how fun NASCAR can be.
Busch Fan - one look at your writing and a 4th grader would be able to tell that you'd never win a contest like this. I'm not even going to explain why - just look at your post.
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