Fan columnist: What happened to mustaches on NASCAR drivers?
After watching the Cubs choke like Kyle Busch in their first three playoff games, I needed something to distract my mind.
I was standing outside my garage Sunday morning thinking about how I was going to turn a pile of red landscaping bricks into a NASCAR mini-golf course on my driveway when it occurred to me I should try to grow a cool 1980s-era NASCAR mustache. I tried to pull off a mustache back in 2006 as part of a pirate Halloween costume. Problem was, my facial hair comes in light, and it just didn’t have the fullness I was seeking. It ended up looking like a caterpillar had died on my face. Instead of shaving it, I went ahead and allowed a full beard to grow in. Tara and I attended the Phoenix race in November that year, and my photos show me with the pathetic semi-goatee.
Not too many NASCAR Sprint Cup drivers have mustaches these days. Where did the big ol’ Earnhardt Sr. ‘stache go? Perhaps mustaches went away as the average age of the drivers plummeted. Instead of upper lip hair, we have young guns who advocate brands of razors. NASCAR basically had to invent an age requirement, otherwise Kyle Busch would have been racing in NASCAR before his voice changed. Joey Logano is 18 and has probably yet to see many whiskers.
Speaking of youngsters, the rookie battle this year has been pathetic. Up until last weekend, most people probably didn’t even know what Regan Smith looked like, much less whether he had a mustache.
Which driver would look good with a mustache? Greg Biffle, winner of two races in the Chase For The Sprint Cup this season, could probably sport the Stroker Ace look. It’s not tough envisioning Martin Truex Jr., Clint Bowyer or, obviously, Dale Earnhardt Jr. with a mustache. Talladega winner Tony Stewart would look cool with a big soup strainer. Stewart has a full beard by 7 at night anyways, but if you don’t shave the cheeks and chin, it doesn’t count.
Each Chase race has been fun and exciting. Talladega continued that trend. The pack of cars racing around reminded me of the Talladega of 2001-2003. Even before the big wreck, it felt as if it was possible for a surprise winner, which we almost had!
Jimmie Johnson must hide the world’s largest horseshoe in his car. Man, he gets lucky. Johnson, racing timid, hung in back for most of the Talladega race. It even burnt him on the start of the race, but, of course, he ended up getting his lap back with the Lucky Dog rule. Johnson’s closest two Chase competitors, Carl Edwards and Biffle, wreck at the same time, and he avoids it all. To top it off, we’re heading to Lowe's Motor Speedway, Johnson’s personal playground a few short years ago.
I kind of like the idea of drivers from seventh place and on down in the Chase racing hard while Jimmie Johnson plays defense. It makes you admire the “second-sucks” attitude of Regan Smith. Maybe next time Smith can sneak through to win by a hair.
