Mike Hembree: I’m having gas pains

By Mike Hembree - Associate Editor

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Article Rating: 4.2
Rate this Article

Latest Headlines

COMMENTARY

We’re big into customer service here at NASCAR Scene and SceneDaily.com, and it is in that spirit that we share today a handsome list of ways you can save gasoline as you follow the NASCAR circuit from place to place.

As you’ve noticed, the price of gas is so high that there have been numerous reports of Bruton Smith shopping around for a used Volkswagen Beetle. People who used to complain about the high prices of race tickets and race track parking now reserve all their venom for Big Oil, Big Rashad, Big Jafari and Big Azizi. Big Al at the turkey leg stand? He’s OK.

The experts say we aren’t likely to see fuel prices below $3 a gallon again, and chances of the national average surging above $4 seem good. With that in mind, follow these rules to survive:

1. Don’t speed. Drive as if you’re under a caution flag. This saves fuel and the costs of speeding tickets. You’ve perhaps noticed that our friends in law enforcement – even county deputies in clunker Fords from the 1980s – seem to be patrolling the interstates with extra zeal these days, perhaps because the high cost of fuel has hit their departments, too. Your contributions help.

2. Feather the throttle, like your heroes do in the turns. Don’t gun it from a standing start at a stop light. This eats extra gas. And – hey  – wait ’til it turns green.

3. Park 2 miles from the racetrack and walk in. This saves fuel, makes you healthier and irritates those guys charging $30 to park in their front yards. A triple-whammy.

4. If you’re going to the race with eight of your best friends, pile everyone into one vehicle. This saves fuel and makes friendships much closer. And, with the right mix of the sexes in such tight quarters, a baby or two could come out of the whole thing.

5. Hang around truck stops and see if you can hitch a ride on one of the race-team transporters. Those guys love the company.

6. You guys with those huge four-wheel-drive, winch-accessorized, four-rear-wheel-equipped, ready-to-go-to-war pickup trucks? Leave those home for the wife to drive over race weekend. Drive her Civic to the track. You won’t look nearly as cool and you won’t have a mobile base of operations if the Iranians invade, but you’ll have leftover gas money, and you can buy a sack of Krystals on the way home.

7. Get one of your buddies who majored in physics to figure out how teams run their cars on fumes for the final five miles at the end of
fuel-mileage races. Then, miraculously, they have enough left over to do burnouts and cruise into victory lane. Astonishing.

8. Two words: Harley. Davidson.

9. Go on the Internet to one of the stock-car racing forums and ask for advice. The folks on those know everything.

10. Finally, stay at home and read about the race on SceneDaily.com. Help save the planet – and your cash.

Average Rating: 4.2

Comments

10 responses to "Mike Hembree: I’m having gas pains"
  1. 1
    Worm Dirt said:
    May 23, 2008 at 9:34 PM

    #11.... Take your latest gas receipt and do a little research on how much of that total is due to taxes imposed by YOUR OWN government.....and then VOTE accordingly.

    Report as Abuse
  2. 2
    Worm Dirt said:
    May 23, 2008 at 9:45 PM

    #12.... Ask your government why oil companies are not allowed to drill for the BILLIONS of barrels of accessible oil right here on american soil.... and then VOTE accordingly.

    Report as Abuse
  3. 3
    Worm Dirt said:
    May 23, 2008 at 9:54 PM

    #13.... Thank Michael Waltrip for usually crashing or breaking down during the first fifty laps.... thereby saving gas.

    Report as Abuse
  4. 4
    Worm Dirt said:
    May 23, 2008 at 10:10 PM

    #14.... Thank Junior for stubbornly and ineffectively running the high-line around every single track on the circuit.... which prevents him from being able to burn excessive gas and tires during checkered flag waving burn-outs.

    Report as Abuse
  5. 5
    Worm Dirt said:
    May 24, 2008 at 12:03 AM

    #15.... CONTINUE BOOING every time Kyle Busch leads a lap.... as the wind-generated-vortex from the sweaty-green-conformity-herd only helps to propel the #18 car... thereby saving gas!

    Report as Abuse
  6. 6
    Worm Dirt said:
    May 24, 2008 at 12:12 AM

    #16.... Actually this has nothing to do with gasoline prices, but.... why does every single campsite at Talladega need a RAGING BONFIRE when it's 75 degrees outside????

    Report as Abuse
  7. 7
    Worm Dirt said:
    May 24, 2008 at 12:30 AM

    #17.... POLITELY ask the democrat-robot and/or republican-robot next to you why alternate forms of energy are not at the top of the list for EITHER of their candidates?????? Wait a minute... What if NASCAR led the way???? and started racing on vegetable oil???? oops, nevermind.... i'm hammered....forget that last question.....

    Report as Abuse
  8. 8
    Worm Dirt said:
    May 24, 2008 at 12:40 AM

    #18.... Support WRD (Wormdirt Racing Development) in their campaign to prevent elliot sadler (the last of the gas-powered ROBOTS) to PLEASE PLEASE upgrade to the Carl Edwards 127.ex.cricuit/exe falsh plug-in.... It EASILY saves 1.21 gigabotts of kilohertz per amp hour. (standard atmosphere of course!!)

    Report as Abuse
  9. 9
    Worm Dirt said:
    May 24, 2008 at 12:57 AM

    #19.... Realize and SUPPORT Dale Eanhardt Junior in his CAUSE.....By now, it's obvious that Junior is avoiding victory-lane to save the country AT LEAST 5 thousand barrels of oil from being wasted in a drunk FURY of parking-lot-moron-victory-tire-burning-smoke.

    Report as Abuse
  10. 10
    Worm Dirt said:
    May 24, 2008 at 1:03 AM

    #20.... Wait a minute!!!!!.... I just re-read the goofy title of this article... and now..... I feel ridiculous...... for being a part of it....... Good Night.

    Report as Abuse

Leave a Comment

You must be registered to leave a comment. Create an Account.

Login

Search

Advanced Search

Latest Videos

Behind-the-scenes at Sunoco's Free Fuel 5000 Commercial Shoot

Behind-the-scenes at Sunoco's Free Fuel 5000 Commercial Shoot

Behind-the-scenes footage, because that's our style. Elliott Sadler and Sunoco's latest commercial shoot in Rock Hill, SC

 

Most Rated Stories

Poll Position

How will Tony Stewart fare as a co-owner and driver for Stewart-Haas Racing in 2009?

view the results